


Make me feel like I'm breathing

by atsushisnakajima



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, Gunshot Wounds, Identity Reveal, M/M, idiots who are lonely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24004432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atsushisnakajima/pseuds/atsushisnakajima
Summary: Perhaps, two people together would make the world around them less lonely.
Relationships: Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Comments: 11
Kudos: 200





	Make me feel like I'm breathing

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to write something seriously after like 3 years. I may or may not be satisfied with how this turned out oops.
> 
> One of those fics, where both Shinichi and Kaito realise that it's hard to bear everything by themselves. Title from A little Death by The Neighbourhood.
> 
> also, happy birthday shinichi!

Shinichi was not having the greatest day in his life. Scratch that, it was probably one of the worst days he had ever since he took down all remains of Black Organization about a month ago. "So," tapping his index finger on the smooth surface of the coffee table in front of him, he huffed out a small breath, "what you're telling me is that i can't go back."

The petite brunette girl who was sitting right across him on the other sofa simply took a sip of her Darjeeling tea and replied in a surprisingly neutral voice, "That's right." Shinichi quickly stood up and loomed over her with an expression that could be described as half-threatening and half-devastated. Though he barely looked menacing in his small seven-year old body. "But you said it would definitely work this time!" Sensing the horror in his voice, the little girl's eyes slightly widened and she took another sip from her cup.

"Calm down Kudou-kun," she let out a sigh and looked straight at Shinichi who was staring at her like a deer in the headlights. "well, I indeed said it would work, considering we were able to retrieve the data from their computer regarding the antidote. _But_ ," she paused for a moment and continued "it seems like my previous antidotes have created a strong immunity from those components in your body. Judging from how you still haven't reverted back after two hours of taking the antidote, it most likely won't work." She looked a little guilty once she finished her sentence.

"That's—" as if taken aback by what he just heard, he stood still for a long moment. He clenched his fists, his nails digging painful holes at his palm. The girl observed him with worry in her eyes. "Maybe if you listened to me back when I told you not to overdo it, we would have different results today." And those words were almost like salt to his new wounds because Shinichi knew she was right. If he had listened to her and Doctor Agasa and didn't let his teenage dreams overtake him, he would have gotten back to his actual life. He had no right to blame Haibara over the stupid decisions he made in the past.

"Fine. Whatever." He mumbled under his breath in a barely audible tone and headed towards the exit in slow steps. "Wait a minute, Kudou-kun? Where are you going? You took a pill. Don't go any—" She was cut off when Shinichi banged the door shut behind him with too much force than necessary.

Shinichi felt immensely guilty after storming out of the Professor's house like that. He was sure he was being unreasonably mad at Haibara when she tried her best she could. She always did. And perhaps that made him think like she will magically create something and he will definitely be able to go back. He was always so immersed in plans of taking the Organisation down that he barely even considered the scenario of not being able to regain his body. But such miracles didn't happen and he was better than to believe in magic.

Speaking of magic, yes, he clearly remembered that today was supposed to be one of _those nights._ Letting out a sigh he tucked his hands inside his pockets. He looked forward and saw Ran laughing at a silly joke Sera just made. Shinichi couldn't care less. The three of them were on their way to Advisor Jirokichi's house, where he was apparently arranging an exhibition for a new jewel he had collected, namely Azure Prince. Of course he had not forgotten to invite the lousy thief to come and try to steal his newfound treasure. So, technically they were on the way to a Kid heist to be fair. Shinichi had originally planned to attend the heist in his real body solely for the purpose of startling the thief. Kid had played a big role in taking down the Organisation. He had even put his life on stake to protect Haibara and Shinichi during their clash and Shinichi thought it was only fair to let him know about his— er,— real identity.

"Conan-kun, aren't you excited?" He was snapped out of his thoughts from the voice he heard _over_ him (he hated being this small okay.) He nodded and smiled nervously, scratching the back of his neck. "Are you going too, Sera-neechan?" the said person smiled at him widely and nodded back. Beside her, Ran bent down to face him and patted him on the shoulder. As always she had that kind smile on her face. "Conan-kun loves Kid heists after all." Well, sure he did, for one or another reason that Ran definitely didn't need to know. Ran was not aware of his real identity after all. She would be horrified if she knew that a seven-year old elementary schooler was in lo- "Conan-kun loves Kid a lot too." He didn't have to look up to know that Sera was smirking with a look that said _I am sorry about your situation but I am going to tease you about it with every chance I get_. Even though they never had an official conversation he knew that Sera was perfectly sure about his real identity and somehow she had also started to make offhand comments about Kid at some point.

"Is that true, Conan-kun?" Ran stood up and asked with faint worry in her eyes. Shinichi gaped at her. "Of course not! He is a criminal." _Yet I'm still madly in love with him, what about it?_ He decided it was the best to not add the last part. Right, Shinichi thought he was extremely enthralled by the magician considering he was one of the fewest people who could put him at his wit's end. But during the short span of time they worked together and they saved each other's ass several times, Shinichi realized he was too deep into this.

All it took was a few snarky teasing comments from his friends (namely Haibara), and some questionable dreams at night to get over his denial over his feelings for the thief in question. 

"Are you alright, Conan-kun? Your face looks red." Shinichi was once again pulled out of his thoughts when Sera swung an arm around Ran's shoulder and she blushed in response. "Don't worry, if anything happens this beautiful lady and I will be sure to teach him a lesson. Though I doubt you'd want that." He let out a small nervous laugh and thanked god that he wasn't on their bad side. 

The rest of their walk to the Suzuki's was rather peaceful. Once they reached, Sonoko came out of their house to greet them and immediately started fangirling over Kid as usual. Shinichi scowled and completely ignored those three.

The so called Azure Prince was just as dazzling as its name suggested. It was placed on top of a reddish cushion which contrasted perfectly with the deep ocean blue of the jewel. It was guarded moderately, Shinichi thought. With all the sensors and traps around it would have been impossible for any regular person to get a hold of the beautiful jewel. But it was Kaitou Kid they were after. With security like this, it won't be an exaggeration to say that this was a piece of cake for him. If they were to catch Kid, it has to be done after he got a hold of the jewel.

It really wasn't that hard, for Shinichi that is, to detect exactly how the thief had planned to snatch away his target. Ironically enough, Shinichi has somehow managed to activate a sixth sense (Kid sense, if you may) around him and after that it was just a matter of time until he reached the rooftop where Kid had planned to escape stealthily from all the chaos he created in the first floor.

Adrenaline rushed in his veins. He was running at his full speed through the stairs just when he felt a strong and sudden pang at his heart which was very similar to— no, Shinichi stopped for a moment and shook his head. Haibara had told him he won't return back. He must accept reality. Dismissing it as a fleeting thought he continued to leap through the stairs and then, finally, he was at the rooftop. 

"It sure took you a while to get here, Great Detective." The annoying figure right before him smirked and took out the Azure Prince out of his dress pocket. He held it before Shinichi. "It would have been truly unfortunate if you weren't present while I was stealing away this fascinating jewel". He let out a small laugh which sounded more like mockery than relief. Shinichi looked at him with an unimpressed expression. He was about to answer him with a snarky comment right when he felt his heart beating loudly against his ribcage like a madman.

The world around him spun round and he fell down on his knees clutching at his chest _. It was coming_. With a dread he thought, there was no mistake. He had to hide himself somewhere. He couldn't let Kid find him out like this, when he looked so pathetic. But he couldn't move his body an inch, instead he let out a loud scream upon feeling another strong pang at his heart. His bones were melting, it was like someone had thrown him into a furnace, only a few minutes away from melting completely. 

"Hey, are you- no you are definitely not okay. Hey, answer me!" Shinichi had not noticed exactly when Kid bent over him and started jerking him lightly. His face was painted with a sharp expression of horror that Shinichi didn't miss even in the dark. "Take me somewhere away..... please." Perhaps being taken aback by his pleading tone, Kid blinked at him a few times.

He opened his mouth and closed again, as if he was deciding what would be the best thing to do. He nodded and asked "Alright. To your house?" Shinichi parted his lips and barely managed to say, "No, not in front of anyone-" before he completely passed out.

**//

Shinichi's life had not been the smoothest he could expect. Ever since his childhood, he had a brilliant intellect. He was fairly talented at most of the things he tried. Adults called him a blessed child. However what came with that valuable brain was an extremely arrogant personality that barely anyone of his age stayed friends with him for more than a few weeks. The only exceptions were Ran, and perhaps Sonoko too, if you looked past all the daily insults she threw at him. He was sure he could live with that, one or two people who will stay beside him forever, until that day.

The day he became Edogawa Conan the whole world crashed down before him. Ironically, it felt like he was given a second chance to live his childhood, to rekindle his relationships. His life as Conan taught him many things that he couldn't imagine doing as Shinichi. He never thought he would have made so many meaningful connections with others. As if he was allowed to observe himself more.

If he were asked under any other circumstance he would say he genuinely enjoyed his life as Conan more than he did as Shinichi. But in the end Edogawa Conan's whole existence was a lie, someone who was never allowed to exist in the first place. He was built upon several layers of thick lies and fated loneliness. Edogawa Conan didn't have a future. 

Once Shinichi opened his eyes, he found it was already night. He was lying on a small bed in the middle of what seemed like an old wooden cottage. Beside him, a man was sitting across a chair, his head buried in the mattress. His dark brown hair was a mess atop his head and he was snoring softly in his sleep.

To his surprise Shinichi found out the man was holding onto his own hand. Taken aback, Shinichi blushed a little and jerked forward. _Kaitou Kid._ He retreated his hands away and cleared his throat. "Will you stop pretending to be asleep already?" Kid chuckled a little and stretched his arms. He was wearing the blue shirt from his outfit and the monocle with a clover sign at its end.

"I was because, in case you know, you preferred to leave without saying anything." Kid mildly smiled. Up close Kid looked like a porcelain doll. He had slender arms and beautifully carved fingers. His eyes were the color of bright indigo, like a clear summer sky, which really fitted the magician, Shinichi thought to himself.

Kid stared at him for a long moment and parted his lips. "Since you didn't leave, I take that as you are going to explain this." He pointed his finger at Shinichi's direction. 

_Oh_ . For some reason all this time he failed to notice the most important thing. He eyed his own body for a while, to make sure it was not a dream. "Oh, this-" _This is real_. He let out a sigh. "Well, I told you, didn't I? I am not a seven-year old." Kid's jaw opened, "So, like— you meant it literary?" Shinichi clicked his tongue. "Like I said, that organization shrunk me with some kind of poison. Anyway we took them down, I ate the antidote and now I'm back." He said all that in a nonchalant tone like he was telling someone what he had for breakfast.

"O-Okay." Kid looked bewildered but decided not to dwell further about the issue and stood up from where he was sitting. He coughed once and looked over, "You must be tired, right? I will make something for you to eat. Meanwhile you can use the shower. I will be back soon." With that he disappeared behind the door. 

Shinichi sighed lightly. There were a lot of things he needed to think about. But first things first. He carefully got up from the bed. Not so surprisingly, he found out he was completely naked, though Kid had cared enough to put a blanket on him. So he just hoped that he didn't end up seeing his uh— private parts. He took Conan's phone which was placed on the bedside table and sent Ran a message that read _I'm fine, Ran-neechan. I'm staying at my friend's place tonight so I don't need dinner._

He let out a short breath and put down his phone. _Friend?_ Is that what he and Kid were? Kid had probably stayed beside him the whole time he was transforming back.

He wondered how Kid had reacted back then, considering it must not have been the best sight to encounter. What if the antidote didn't work properly and he had died? What would Kid do then? Without any allies he would have definitely been suspected of murder of a seven-year old. He gulped in fear. Putting those nasty thoughts aside, he decided to go take a shower instead. He had sweated a lot and his skin felt disgusting. 

Kid had brought him dinner as promised. There was ginger honey rice porridge along with some teriyaki tofu and spinach salad which made Shinichi more hungry. "You made all these?" He raised an eyebrow at him. Kid who was resting his chin on his hand and looking at him with an amused expression blinked a few times at his sudden question. Then he let out a pleasant laugh, which was too distracting for Shinichi. "You sure seem surprised, Detective." Shinichi melted at the fond smile he showed him. "I mean, you won't usually expect international criminals to make you porridge when you're sick."

Kid faked a dramatic posture. "Aww that's rude. And here I thought you saw me more than just a criminal." Shinichi flushed a little and started eating the porridge, ignoring all the annoying remarks Kid made.

The food Kid made was even better than it already looked. "It's delicious." He said out loud. Kid looked at him with a smug look and then grinned, "Always a pleasure to make _my_ Great Detective happy." That smooth-talking bastard. Shinichi briefly choked on his food. "Would you stop calling me that already? I have an actual name, you know. You can just—" He was cut off by Kid's sudden interruption, "Kudou Shinichi. Is that right?" Shinichi hadn't expected Kid to know his name. Kid let out that playful chuckle again. "Now, now. Don't look at me like that. Who won't have heard about _the_ Kudou Shinichi."

Well, maybe it was not that unusual for Kid to know about him. He was a detective after all. He was technically Kid's natural enemy. But still he didn't know how to feel about the fact that the object of his affection had been well aware of his identity already. Kid opened his mouth again. "And as for your request, no." He smirked and continued. "I love calling you that okay? In return you can always call me your darling thief." Kid literary winked at him and Shinichi knew better than to reply to his stupid remarks. He showed Kid an unimpressed look and continued to eat.

An unnatural silence fell between them once Shinichi finished eating his meal. He felt obliged to say something to the other man. "Hey, Kid?" He raised his eyebrow at the question. "Yes?" Shinichi couldn't decide what would be the best way to ask him. So instead he just went with, "Why did you save me?"

Seeing Kid look a little confused at his question, he continued. "I mean surely it wasn't that— you didn't have to, right? Don't think I didn't notice how you even left your jewel there without checking. If I had died—" Shinichi stopped mid-sentence when he felt Kid's sharp gaze on him. He looked hurt. _Oh so even he can make such an expression._

"You don't know." At that moment Kid's voice felt so foreign to Shinichi's ears. "You don't know how you looked back then, Detective." Kid curved his lip upwards in an attempt to smile. However, his face was devoid of any such emotion. Shinichi froze in the place. He had never expected to witness Kid to make such a face. Had he been worried for him? Before he could make out a proper answer, Kid swiftly moved past him, towards the door. "Sleep well, Great Detective. Don't worry, I will take you back home tomorrow." With that he was gone. So Shinichi did. He was tired and sleeping will be a better option than to spend the whole night away thinking about how Kid looked at him a while ago.

Kid was indeed very caring and Shinichi started to feel a bit guilty about that. He carefully took him to Professor Agasa's house after Shinichi gave him the directions. Right this moment, he was helping him settle down on Agasa's couch in his living room. Haibara had recognised him immediately. It was not really that surprising as he had previously saved her during the clash with the Blacks.

Once Shinichi sat down properly on the couch he found Kid staring at him, as if to ensure he was feeling well or not. "Thank you for everything, Kid. I am in safe hands now so you don't have to worry." Shinichi tried to show a sincere smile. Kid smiled back at him and soon it changed into a full toothed grin. He extended his fist towards him and in no time, there was a beautiful velvet red rose in between his fingers. Shinichi stared at it in awe. "How did you-" Kid's grin now turned into a smirk. "Impressed, are we, darling?"

Saying so, he tucked the rose behind Shinichi's ear. Shinichi flushed lightly at the sudden contact. Kid looked satisfied at his growing blush. "As much I would love to prolong my visit, there are some things I need to take care of first. I am a busy man, you see." Kid was all smiles and Shinichi had a hard time deciding whether to punch him or kiss him to shut his mouth. By the time he realised he couldn't do either, Kid had already walked towards the entrance. "Don't miss me too much, okay? I am sure we will meet again soon, my dear Great Detective." As soon as he finished his sentence, he vanished in the air. Shinichi clicked his tongue.

He took the rose in his hands and started examining it, in hopes of finding out how exactly the magician made it appear in his hand. "Interesting." Shinichi jerked upon hearing a feminine voice. He was so immersed in Kid and his tricks that he hadn't even noticed that Haibara was standing right there seeing the whole ordeal between those two. "Wait, this— it's not like what you think, Haibara." He almost hated how jumpy his voice sounded right now. "Oh, no worries. I wasn't particularly thinking anything." The smugness in her voice was somehow _visible_.

Shinichi bit his tongue, "He just flirts with anything and everything that moves okay?" The girl raised an eyebrow, "You say that but I don't think he tried any of that with me or Professor Agasa." Shinichi opened his mouth to complain how Kid was neither a pedophile nor a weirdo who would flirt with a little girl or an old man but stopped once he realised he was digging his own grave. So instead, he closed his mouth with an audible sound. Haibara hummed. She observed him closely for a minute and headed towards the adjacent room. "Sit right there for a moment. I need to run some tests on you to check if this is permanent or not."

Shinichi felt massively grateful for how caring the girl was. He also felt a small tug at his heart because he knew Haibara deserved an apology from him for his previous lash out. "Hey Haibara.." The girl peeked behind her shoulder and replied, "Yes?" Shinichi swallowed. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, which was rather a surprising sight. "You are— I am always grateful to you for everything you did. I never blamed you for anything okay? I am— thank you for always helping me out, I mean it." Once he finished, his shoulders felt lighter.

The girl merely let out a small sarcastic smile, "You better do, Kudou-kun." Shinichi couldn't see her face but he knew the way her lips curved upwards so lightly and perhaps it was one of the rarest moments she smiled genuinely at him.

  
  


**//

  
  


As Kid had suggested, it really was not long before they met again. Two weeks have passed since Shinichi got his body back. It took a while for him to settle down properly. First of all, he had to take care of Edogawa Conan. It was not that hard, with Haibara's help that is. Haibara disguised herself as Conan for a few days before 'Conan's parents' came to pick her up. _"Conan will be studying in England, and he will most likely not return to Japan anytime soon."_ was the excuse given to everyone.

Shinichi decided it was best to keep the secret from as many people as he could. Ran was one of them as well. She finally moved forward from all her feelings and Shinichi decided it was the best to not let her know. He won't ask her to wait for him anymore, like he selfishly did for a whole year. After the return of Kudou Shinichi, he was once again knees deep in murder cases. It felt refreshing to work on cases without making other people deduce his thoughts. With the pain of being in a child's body gone, Shinichi was once again the star of the show. 

It was a clear afternoon of autumn. Shinichi was on his way home after solving a rather difficult case. He felt a strong urge to caffeinate his body when he strolled past a barista. He seated himself by the table near the back of the shop. Looking outside through the large glass window beside him, he took a sip of his triple espresso thinking about the case he just had solved when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Drink those bitter coffees and it will affect your personality too." Shinichi knew that husky voice too well. "Kid." The man smiled and sat across him, faintly smirking at him. "But i love that tough part of you too, Detective." Shinichi finally faced him and showed an amused smile."How bold of you to come out in front of a detective in broad daylight." Kid was wearing a black turtle-neck that hid most of his features. He also had a black cap atop his head which he soon removed to reveal the artistic mess of his chocolate brown bed hair. Shinichi wondered briefly if that was his natural hair or he actually took the time to make it look like a bird nest everyday in the morning. 

Kid let out a chuckle in reply, "You really are interesting, you know? But right now I'm just here as a civilian checking out a nice barista with a cute guy with me." Shinichi raised a judgemental eyebrow at him. "That's not true, is it? You're here to plan for your next heist." Kid hummed in response, "How so?" His eyes looked challenging and Shinichi could feel sudden adrenaline rushing in his blood.

He put down his coffee and opened his mouth again. "From what I have observed, you are not a resident of Beika and one usually won't come to another city just to check out a barista. Moreover the heist notice you sent last night read 'when the beautiful virgin goes to sleep after taking care of sick children.' That refers to Artemis who was the greek goddess of childbirth and virginity. If my deduction is correct, that is the private hospital specialized for women which is situated a few buildings away from this shop, Beika Private Women's Health Clinic. And the place just beside it is—" Shinichi could feel a smirk spread out on his own face, "Tadashi Exhibition Hall. They are doing a jewel exhibition next week. And there's only one big jewel among them, the Indigo Amethyst. After the beautiful virgin goes to sleep refers to the closing time of the clinic. Which means the time and location of your heist is, to be precise, Tadashi Exhibition Hall, 9pm at night, am i right, Kid-san?"

Once he finished, Shinichi found Kid clapping and laughing loudly which, to his embarrassment, caught the attention of other customers beside them. "As expected of my favourite critic. I am impressed as always."

Kid readjusted himself on his seat and leaned forward towards Shinichi. "But too bad, I'm already done with my 'inspection'. I just wanted to have a peaceful chat with you once I saw you enter this shop, darling." There he went again with his meaningless flirting. Shinichi hoped Kid hadn't noticed the way his ears turned pink the moment the word 'darling' left his mouth. He pulled himself together fast and replied bitterly, "Fine." Kid visibly beamed upon hearing his reply. 

Out of every conversation he had with Kid this far, it was probably the smoothest one of them. Kid was like a breath of fresh air in his everyday stressful life with dead bodies and misfortunes. He was like a playful summer sky, changing his colours ever so slightly but always remaining bright and brilliant. His husky voice sounded cheerful and seductive every time his mouth spelled out different words. And maybe it was just Shinichi being biased but Kid was drop dead gorgeous. The way his light indigo eyes reflected sunlight artfully, the way his mouth alluringly curved up looking at Shinichi and the way he sometimes played with his brown locks- all of that made Shinichi shudder under his breath. He could spend hours just observing Kid and listening to him talk about the most mundane things. 

Shinichi came to the conclusion that he and Kid were about the same age. He spoke about his friends in highschool— his childhood best friend who apparently liked to beat him up with a mop (he probably deserved it, Shinichi thought), her witch girlfriend (it was better not to ask) and an annoying British detective (who matched the description of someone he personally knew too well but Shinichi didn't pry any further.)

They came to an unspoken agreement to not ask the other more than what he had already provided. Shinichi also wanted to talk about his friends but Kid already knew them so instead he decided to discuss his current case. He usually preferred doing things alone but Kid was always an exception for him. 

"Ah, it was so much fun to talk with you, Detective." Kid leaned backwards and rested his head on the back of his seat. "I never get bored when I am with you, it always feels like a challenge." Kid winked at him playfully and Shinichi didn't miss the way his heart skipped a beat at the sight. "I feel honoured to hear that, Mr. thief." Kid faintly smiled at his direction and leaned forward slowly. He gently placed his right hand on top of Shinichi's, running circles on it with his delicate thumb. Shinichi could feel his breath hitch. He had no idea what Kid was planning to do. Kid was always a surprise. However he had not expected to ask him, "Are you lonely, _Shinichi_?"

Kid's expression was unreadable. His indigo eyes gillmered and Shinichi sat there completely frozen, as if a weight was pressed on his chest, robbing him of breath. And he didn't miss the fact that he had addressed him as 'Shinichi' instead of the embarrassing pet names he used all the time. The way his name rolled off tongue seductively almost made it sound like something dirty. Shinichi shuddered at that thought. "What do you mean?" He asked slowly with calculated words. Kid stared at him a little longer, expression still obscure and then grinned widely. "Wow darling, relax. I was simply teasing you, that's all."

Shinichi honestly couldn't catch his sense of humour but he let it pass anyway. He didn't want to think too hard about his earlier question fearing it will awaken some unwanted emotions within him. He needed to be careful around Kid. He was dangerous. The way he swiftly got into his life and swept him out of his feet with anything and everything he said—it was truly terrifying. 

After another hour had passed, they exited the shop together. It was already late afternoon and the sky had been painted different shades of red by the setting sun. "Well, this is where we part ways," Kid looked soft, "thank you for accompanying me today, darling." Shinichi looked at him with bits of affection and fondness in his eyes. "Don't forget that it was you 'forcing your way into my private space' rather than 'me accompanying you.' Also stop with your pet names."

Kid blinked once and let out that mildly loud laughter again which was akin to a small child's who just received his favourite dessert. And Shinichi hated himself for being so hopelessly and stupidly in love with Kid because he was just teasing him and flirting with him like he did with everyone. It was probably not anything serious but everything that came out of his mouth made Shinichi almost feeble and— yes, he really hated Kid for this. Seemingly noticing the growing frown on Shinichi's face, Kid smirked, which slowly turned into a genuine smile and then he extended his hand to make a rose out of it, an azure blue one, which must have been quite rare, Shinichi thought. "Darling, you're the only man of my dreams so smile for me, okay?"

Shinichi observed him owlishly and took the rose from him. He smirked lightly and extended his own hand towards Kid. He let out a small breath and counted, "Three, two-" Kid looked bemused, unable to make out what was going to happen. "one!" and with that a rose appeared on Shinichi's hand this time, an indigo shrub rose. Shinichi pursed his mouth in a self-satisfied smirk. He won't admit himself but since Kid left him at Agasa's house that day, he had been practising very hard just to get back at him and the way Kid was eyeing him with his mouth hanging open, Shinichi proudly self-proclaimed his victory. He tucked it behind Kid's hair to mimic his actions two weeks ago. "You are not the only one who can do it." Shinichi found the bright pink flush on Kid's face way too satisfying. _So even he can make such an expression._ He thought for the second time after meeting the thief.

He patted him on the shoulder, "Well, then see you soon?" He was about to turn around just when he felt a small tug on his left sleeves. Shinichi blinked, confused, "What's wrong?" Kid stayed motionless for a bit longer and then pulled Shinichi by his arm with a little more force than necessary. Before Shinichi could process everything he felt a pair of small soft lips brush past his mouth and then his ear. "You are so unfair, _Shinichi_." Kid murmured against his ear so softly that it almost made Shinichi jump.

When he turned around to look at Kid properly, he vanished in the air leaving Shinichi in an unyielding urge to punch him on his face and then maybe make it up with hundreds of kisses.

  
  


**//

  
  


Kaito couldn't exactly remember how long it has been since he started doing this. He was sure it had been no less than two years. Two years since he jumped on the other side of law, two years since he had been chasing Pandora and failing to get it every time and several years since he started feeling that the world was much lonelier than he imagined. "Another failure, huh," he muttered to himself holding up Indigo Amethyst in the moonlight. The night was chilly. He could feel sharp, cold wind slice up his body. _And another cold night._

He took the gem in the inside breast pocket of his jacket. He was on top of an abandoned building, far away from his heist location. Observing his surroundings one more time he made sure there was no one around. Then he changed back into his civilian clothes. It was too cold for him to use his hang-glider anyway. He would walk home and then maybe jump into his bathtub with seventy five degree centigrade water— no, hundred degree centigrade water, Kaito winced at how wonderful that sounded.

He climbed down several stairs off the building. It really was abandoned, not even street dogs have entered the building and made it their secret den. 

He did not have dinner either but cooking right now seemed like too much pain. He could ask Aoko and Inspector Nakamori to share their leftovers and he knew they would be more than pleased to do so. But he was not really that much of an asshole to ask help from them after he had made the man chase him just an hour ago and showered him and his entire task force in pink glitters and confetti. It must have been hell to get it off completely.

Kaito felt a little guilty. When Shinichi was not around, he had too much fun messing with them. And there was Aoko too— he didn't know how he should feel about lying to his best friend for two years and reading the 50 pages long Anti-Kid essay she wrote about his other persona. In conclusion Life Was Hard. 

He reached the ground floor and was torn between whether to call Jii or not, then he heard footsteps, steady, swift sounds of shoes hitting the ground. As they inched closer Kaito braced himself for whatever that was incoming towards him.

Then he heard a rough voice, "Not quite a flamboyant escape, is it?" _Shinichi_ . Kaito felt his shoulders loosen up immediately. And it was kind of scary considering Shinichi was technically a detective, definitely not someone he should feel at ease with. He saw his azure eyes glint in the faint moonlight. Hands tucked inside his pants pocket, he eyed Kaito up and down like a hunter did to its prey. Kaito felt himself frozen on spot and briefly wondered if that's how the culprits always felt under his intense gaze. "Aww where have you been Great Detective, it was lonely without you." Kaito teased him in his usual playful tone. Shinichi stared at him with a flat expression.

"I was investigating a case," He said in a soft voice. "and technically, I still am. I was on my way to the suspect's house." Maybe Kaito was simply hallucinating but he felt a quiet regret in Shinichi's voice. "Anyway, since I am already here, give that gem back to me. You are already done with err— checking or whatever you do, right?" Kaito wanted to stand there for two hours and tell Shinichi about how much of a great observant he was. That would still not be enough, it would take two days at least.

But he decided against it because Shinichi probably got them already and his ego surely didn't need a boost. But Kaito couldn't help but feel warm at the attention. Shinichi really hadn't changed from the first time they met. And neither did Kaito's feelings. He scoffed a little and took out the gem from his pocket. "Since my darling asked me so nicely, of course I can suffice this much." He moved closer towards Shinichi and pressed the gem on his chest with the tip of his index finger. Kaito felt Shinichi shudder at the touch.

The gem rose up and down matching the rhythm of his heartbeat. "Three, two, one!" Kaito muttered slowly under his breath and with that the gem disappeared. Shinichi gasped and fumbled around his own body in search of it. He rubbed his hand over the small bump on the side of his chest and stopped, "How did you put it in my breast pocket?" Kaito couldn't help but admire how Shinichi was always invested in solving the smallest things that no one cared about. It almost made him look adorable. Kaito smiled a little, "A magician never reveals his tricks, Detective."

Shinichi opened his mouth to protest something. Kaito chuckled and pressed his finger to his lips to shut him up but almost got distracted by how soft Shinichi's lips felt. They were a little bit chapped around the edges but mostly tender and Kaito wondered how it would feel to have them pressed against his own.

He gulped at the thought. His hand cupped Shinichi's face and he pressed his thumb lightly over his bottom lip, parting them open. "What are—" Shinichi's words got lost somewhere in the tension and Kaito felt something hot lump in his stomach. So hot it almost made it hard for him to stand properly. Shinichi's hand brushed over his hipbone and then gripped his waist lightly, pulling him closer to his face. _Oh_. 

But of course that was the moment Kaito had to get shot. He felt two bullets piercing his right thigh. He winced in sudden pain and collapsed on the ground before him. Shinichi looked mortified. Kaito caught him looking at the direction where the gunshot came from and swore something under his breath. "Just now— that was definitely—"

He gritted his teeth and this time his entire attention shifted to Kaito who was clutching at his thigh before him. He got down on his knees, "Hey, where did that bullet go through? Is it only the thigh?" Kaito felt uncomfortable under Shinichi's grim stare, "Yeah," He was shocked at how painful his own voice sounded to his ears, "but it kind of hurts a lot. The bad kind of hurt."

Shinichi clicked his tongue and leaned closer, "Hold onto me." Kaito muttered a soft _what_ before Shinichi pushed one hand beneath Kaito's neck and another on the back of his knees and hoisted him up. Kaito gaped at surprise, still clutching onto the freshly made hole at his thigh. Shinichi started running, but not so fast that it would hurt him. "Hold onto me tightly. You have a transmitter on you right? I am going to take the liberty to send your assistant an emergency message to carry you to the nearest hospital."

Kaito opened his mouth briefly before he was interrupted, "And don't worry, I will take care of the gem and uhh— whatever else you are hiding underneath." 

Shinichi's azure eyes gleamed at Kaito and suddenly he felt too hot under his gaze. The places Shinichi touched started burning. It must be the pain doing things to his head. _Excellent_ . He could even hear Shinichi's chest hammer loudly against his chest, matching his own fast paced beating.

Kaito shivered at the intimacy. He was dangerously close to Shinichi— to Kudou Shinichi— the man who took down a whole crime syndicate all while being stuck in the body of a seven-year old, the man who was recognised by people all around the world, men and women, the youth and the elderly.

To be frank, Kaito was terrified of Shinichi. Extremely terrified of his piercing gaze that saw through anyone and everyone. Shinichi was someone who always made Kaito jump with his actions, someone he needed to be careful with, afraid that he might see through his lies, his façade without batting a single eyelash. He was perfect, terrifyingly so. Yet there was Kaito, completely exposed before him. He _let_ himself be exposed. He didn't bother putting up a poker face or a fake smile because he wished Shinichi would see, he wanted Shinichi to see the real him, to accept the real him that nobody else bothered to look at.

"Are you worried about me, darling?" Kaito asked tentatively. "We can have that talk later." Shinichi didn't blush like he always did. Kaito almost wished Shinichi would smile at him one last time before he closed his eyes in pain. Kaito briefly remembered getting into Jii's white Mazda cx-8 with a worried Shinichi by his side before he closed his eyes.

The next time Kaito woke up he found himself lying on the hospital bed, his back flat against the firm mattress. It was midnight, perhaps a little past twelve. He looked down and found white bandage wrapped around his injured thigh. There were glimpses of red in several places but it wasn't too painful. Right, he got shot and then Shinichi— Wait, Shinichi?

"Kaito-bocchama, are you awake?" Kaito peeked around and found Jii standing beside him, clear worry present in his features. He asked him if he could sit up and when he nodded, he gave him a hand started giving him detailed instructions about the injury. He told him that it had been five hours since he was shot and the shooter was already caught by the police. It was the same person who Shinichi had suspected as the hit and run culprit and apparently he was involved in a robbery case from two weeks ago as well. He knew Shinichi was going to visit him and had planned to shoot him which accidentally landed on Kaito's thigh since they were um— entangled and all (a blush crept its way on Kaito's face when he remembered that moment).

He cleared his throat. _Clearly an amateur shooter_. "Kudou-san carried you here in my car and left immediately after they took you in." Kaito raised his eyebrows. "Where is he now? Shin- Kudou, I mean?" Jii smiled softly at him, "According to the news, he already caught that man. I am sure he will return soon. It seemed like he had something important to tell you, Bocchama."

Kaito felt a lump in his throat. "Oh." Jii stood up, "More importantly, you need to be careful. If anything happened I don't know what I would do." Kaito felt a little guilty. He had always made him worried with his reckless stunts yet Jii always supported him in everything, whether it was his father's wish or not, he was happy that Jii was there. "Thank you, Jii." The older man's expression softened, "I am only fulfilling my promise to Toichi-sama."

Once he finished his sentence, the door to his room swung open, revealing an uneasy Shinichi standing in the doorway. It looked like he ran a marathon to get here, his suit was all wrinkled and his hair was sticking out in several places making a mess. Jii smiled at him knowingly and bowed slightly at Shinichi once he passed him by the doorway. "Then, I shall take my leave now. Please take your time."

Once Jii was gone, Kaito turned and beamed at Shinichi, "Hi." Shinichi took a few steps towards him and shifted uncomfortably, "Hey there." Kaito stared at his feature a moment longer and bit his lip, "Don't blame yourself." Shinichi blinked at him owlishly and opened his mouth, "I didn't even say anything." Kaito raised one of his eyebrows, "But you are, aren't you? Thinking this is your fault?"

Shinichi let out a sigh in defeat and sat down on the tool beside the hospital bed. Now Kaito could directly see his face. He let out another smaller sigh, "Stop reading my mind." Kaito chuckled, "I am just good at reading you, Great Detective." After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Shinichi was the first one to speak, "I assume your injury is better now?" He observed Kaito's thigh out of the corner of his eyes. "Of course~ It only stings a bit now but since my cute detective came to visit me I already feel better."

Kaito chimed at him and didn't miss how Shinichi's cheeks turned pink at his remark. "Stop with that, will you?" Shinichi scooted closer and flicked Kaito on the forehead and smirked satisfyingly seeing the place slightly become redder. "Ow, you're not very sweet, Detective. I'm delicate, okay?" Shinichi let out a laugh in response and Kaito felt his stomach flip at the pleasant sound. He leaned forward until their faces were only a few millimetres away, "Anyway, I heard you had something important to tell me."

Kaito asked with a firm voice and perhaps if they were not sitting this close he'd have completely missed the way Shinichi's eyes faintly widened. 

"I—" Shinichi started, his bright ocean-like eyes staring right at Kaito's as he continued, "The other day, you asked me if I was lonely."

Kaito recalled their meeting at that coffee shop and the touch of Shinichi's warm, calloused hand against his own. He swallowed and dryly asked, "Yes?" It felt suffocating under Shinichi's gaze but he never looked away from him. Shinichi's lips partly opened, "About that— what about _you_ ? Are _you_ lonely?" 

What Kaito had not expected was a counter question in response. It took him off-guard for a brief moment before he effortlessly collected himself again, "Hmm? What if I said yes?" Something glowed in Shinichi's eyes and he locked his hand with Kaito's which was resting on the white sheets. He intertwined their fingers together, still not looking away from Kaito. Shinichi's hands were still that warm and still that gentle and Kaito couldn't help admiring how perfectly each of their fingers fit within the gaps.

Kaito leaned towards the far edge of the bed. At this proximity, he could practically feel Shinichi's breath on his face, making Kaito feel dizzy with their warmth. "Hey, Shinichi?" Shinichi made a humming noise in response. "Can I kiss you?" And at that Shinichi didn't say anything. He just lunged forward until their lips met and pressed onto them softly, carefully as if he was scared he would hurt Kaito. Kaito turned his head and leaned into the kiss, into Shinichi.

When they parted Shinichi's face was flushed red and Kaito was sure his own looked very similar as well. "Kid…." Shinichi whispered against his skin.

"Kaito. Please call me Kaito, Shinichi." Kaito never thought his own voice could sound so small and vulnerable. But Shinichi only held his hand tighter in response. "Kaito." He whispered. His voice was clear and his name sounded like a promise on his soft lips. Then he leaned in again and smashed their lips together. This time with more force, with more need. Shinichi licked his lips and then nudged his tongue over the entrance. Kaito parted his lips and let Shinichi invade his mouth. Kaito tangled his hands around Shinichi's waist and pulled him closer. Shinichi let out a huff in response and pulled at Kaito's hair for better access to his mouth. Their tongues messily swayed along each other. Kaito moved his hands along Shinichi's back and he let out a small moan in response, which Kaito swore, was the hottest thing he ever witnessed.

Once they parted for the need of oxygen, Kaito could see Shinichi's face tinted in bright red and his lips were bruised. He pasted a sweet soft kiss on his lips for the last time and beamed at him.

Shinichi laughed in response and it sounded like a melody to his ears. His azure eyes glimmered sincerely, he parted his bruised lips slightly and spoke, "I won't ask for your secret," Kaito eyed him, a little amused.

Shinichi pulled him closer and Kaito rested his chin on the small space of his shoulder. "It's my job to figure that out after all." Kaito hummed in response. Shinichi ran a careful hand through his hair again, "So let me— let me stay with you until I figure out everything. And even after, if you're okay with that." Kaito pulled away to have a better look at his face. "And if I asked you to stay forever?"

Shinichi only gave an amused smile before pulling him closer for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> WAHH thank you for reading till the end ;; at some point i had no idea where this fic was going but i decided to end it with sort of ambitious ending instead. i love fics/doujinshis where we can see more vulnerable side of both of them. hope you enjoyed it even a bit. please let me know about the mistakes.
> 
> I'd be very happy if you dropped by and said hi to me on twitter @kaitokurobasass


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